Last week, I gave you the back story on why I started my search for my biological parents. If you haven’t read it, I recommend you start there.
I now have my original birth certificate and my adoption records. I have looked online and not found a whole lot of information, so I stopped looking for a while. I don’t think I was quite ready to find anyone really and my brain and heart needed a break. There was excitement but also a lot of fear.
But on Black Friday 2017, I decided to buy an Ancestry DNA kit. I am still amazed at the advances we have made as a society and the fact that I can spit in a little tube, get it tested and then find my bio-parents.
The month of December 2017 was a little crazy. I got my DNA results from Ancestry, and within a week, I had contacted an Aunt of my bio-father. His family is very into researching their family tree, and they were very happy to give me information about when he was younger, about his parents, about their family. But, it turned out that he was not in touch with his family at all. Between that information and the fact that he might not know he had fathered a child, I decided not to contact him at that time. I did find some old yearbook photos on Ancestry of him, and I really look like him, so there isn’t too much doubt about the fact that we are related.
I got overwhelmed again after finding that piece because his family was so into Ancestry and genealogy that they kept contacting me asking if I had found different people in my research and wanting to add that to their tree. I needed space to process the whole thing, and I wasn’t getting that so I finally had to tell them I needed space and I would contact them again when I was ready.
I decided to put the whole thing away and not think about it because I still hadn’t found anything that might connect me to my bio-mother and I just needed to get away from it for a while.
The universe had other plans though, and in May of 2018, I got an email with a new DNA match. Had I read that match a little closer, I might not have reached out so quick, but I thought it was another cousin match (they had all been “2nd-3rd cousins” in my matches) and I messaged right away to ask the new match if they had my bio-mom’s last name in their family.
I was completely surprised to find they did and as the messages went back and forth, I began to realize that I had found someone a lot closer than a cousin. It turned out to be my half-sister. And, through that conversation, I had found my bio-mom. We have been messaging and emailing for a couple months now, and I am still trying to process all of it. I have kinda always wanted a sister, so that is kinda neat. But I think that it has brought up old feelings for my bio-mom, and I hate that I might be hurting her.
So, I am trying to deal with the idea of now knowing my bio-family. I have 4 half-siblings, 2 on either side. Both of my bio-parents are still alive. And I can look at pictures now and see people that look like me. That has never happened before. It is a little strange and exciting all at the same time.
I don’t know yet how I want to move forward. I am not sure yet how far I want to go down the road of getting to know people when I originally just started to find out more about my health issues. It is something I am still swirling around in my brain and my heart.
What I do know is that I am glad I took the journey. I am pretty sure it is one reason why I am feeling so good these days. Having some answers about where I came from is huge for me.
I am helping my brother go on his own journey to find his bio-parents now since we were both adopted. And our parents are fully supporting it because they are good parents who love us. I don’t know where else the journey will take me, but I am looking forward to it these days.