I like to connect with people.
To talk and learn and bond together.
But as an adult, I find it really hard to do.
I meet new people in my life, and I want to get to know them better. I want to spend time with them.
Sometimes I do.
Other times, I don’t. I don’t follow up on the conversation. I never make the call to go out with them.
I find it hard to continue to do that follow-up. Maybe it is my horrible memory and the fact that I struggle to remember details about people. Maybe the introvert in me struggles with spending too much time with people. Maybe my illness makes it hard for me to keep up with people.
I am not sure what it is, but I feel very much like I meet people that I really like, and I want to be friends, and then it just doesn’t happen.
So, I have a few very close friends. Friends that I consider my family. And then I have a whole bunch of acquaintances who I consider friends but then don’t feel like I am a good friend to them at all.
I know that I am not a great friend because I am not reaching out to them. There isn’t any regular communication. I am missing significant events in their life because I don’t keep in touch. I just let that connection slip away.
I know I want to do better. I make promises to myself to reach out, to call, to email. Then, I don’t.
And I will be clear here, Social media doesn’t count for me. I learned a long time ago that people just don’t put the real, important stuff on social media. Most people want to keep those parts of their lives from the general public.
So, I am trying to figure out how to do better.
I met a great lady through my cousin a year or two ago. We have great conversations when I see her at my cousin’s house. And last night, we really got a good discussion going. I want to make that friend connection with her. I think I am going to have to force myself out of my comfort zone and make a considerable effort.
Got any tips for me on making friends and keeping them as an adult or adding a connection with other people? I am all ears.
Here’s to a great week.
🙂
I think the best thing to do is consume friendships a little bit at a time…. I literally have time that I sketch out in my day that I keep up with my close friends so I have a balance to my work/school/caregiving wife life. Cultivating certain relationships with a handful of people makes the balance easier for me versus trying to be close friends that I have on Instagram or Facebook. Like you mentioned – there are only certain folks I share the true intimate details of what’s been happening in my life outside of any social media platform. You eventually weed out the dead weight/toxic friendships (as you know, I’ve did that a couple years ago) and honestly… I haven’t been happier since. Find the time to build the friendships that you know will last and stay connected with them. <3 MISS YOU <3
Thanks so much for the advice. I am really going to try to connect better with those who mean so much to me (like you. Miss you too!). I will try the idea of setting aside time for just this. Keep up the good and I am happy that you are happy! 🙂