The time of year where everyone in Colorado is getting outside and enjoying the warmth of the sun and the beauty of the state that we live in.
The time of year where I do the most introspection and spend a lot of time with myself.
As I sat down to write the blog this week, I was struggling. I have so many things I want to write about, but all of them need a little more thought. So, I wasn’t ready to give them to you just yet.
But I have had something on my mind all week, and you might be interested in it.
What happens when you realize that all the dreams you have been chasing may not be the “right” dreams. When you look at your life and recognize that maybe you don’t want those things anymore. When you realize that perhaps your dreams haven’t been dreams at all, they were just things that would make other people happy or things you were doing to fit in with others.
I have been very uncomfortable for the last month or so. Just feeling very unsettled and not completely happy with just about anything in my life. I can’t pin down all that is making me feel that way, but I know it has to do with change and change makes me really uncomfortable.
But this week, it all came into focus. A discussion with my boss three months ago got me thinking that I wanted to visit Hawaii and that I could make it happen with Southwest now flying there and the cheap fares that they might offer. So, every day for the past three months, I have been checking their website for the release of new availability on flights and cheap fares. Then, I got a note saying new fares were coming on Thursday. I checked when I got up that morning and nothing new. Then got sucked into work and by the time I checked again at lunch, the fares had been released and were already at $500 or $600. Now, that isn’t that much for a flight, but then I started to realize that by the time I paid for lodging and everything else, the trip would be well over $1000. If my goal is to pay off my debt and get a dog and have my life here, it just wasn’t feasible to spend that money on travel. Yes, I want to see my friend and meet her new baby, but did this really align with what I want to do in my life.
That is when I really started thinking about my dreams, my goals, and am I really doing everything I can to achieve those dreams, and are they really my dreams anymore.
I am not sure, and so I am going to spend some time this summer defining what it is that I want. And hopefully, I can start moving in that new direction.
I will spend a lot of time with the people I love over the summer. Hopefully, lots of lunches and dinners and coffees and fun. I will also spend a lot of time with me. Sitting outside, listening to nature, and discovering what really matters to me. For me, this is a time of considerable growth every year. Where I learn new things and try to carry them through to the rest of my life throughout the year.
Does summer work like this for you? Do you reconnect with people? Do you reconnect with yourself?