It finally happened this week.
The feeling that this blog is too much for me to handle.
My brain telling me that I am spending too much time and money on this little endeavor of mine.
I started this blog because I thought it might help me find a community.
I thought it might connect me better to people.
I thought it would be a good way for me to stop holding things inside and just get everything out in the open.
But I am beginning to think that I am not strong enough as a person to handle what comes with putting my truth out there.
Because this morning I wanted to quit.
Partly because I am tired and feeling overwhelmed with change, and I want some time to myself.
Partly because I got feedback this week that I have offended some people with what I have written.
I don’t know if I want to quit for good. I have lots of ideas to write about. This week, empathy came up, and so did dealing with change. Both topics that I struggle with. I even thought I might write about how much I love college football because I went to a game yesterday and it was so much fun.
But I woke up this morning and just needed a break. Thinking that the 2-3 hours I spend putting this together each week might be time better spent on something else. Thinking that maybe I should stop using this writing as therapy and just go back to therapy.
I really don’t know.
So, I think I am taking a break. I might decide to start right back up next week because I might get inspired. Or I might take a few weeks off and see if I can use that time better for different endeavors. I don’t know. I just know that today, I am feeling like I might be done.
Thanks to my loyal readers for staying with me. It has been a little over two years that this blog has been in existence and a year since I began the weekly writings. I have loved your comments. Your support has been the thing that kept me going. 🙂
I am sad to hear this….although we haven’t spoke in years, I’ve followed your journey. Its very similar to what our daughter goes thru complete with the fibro diagnosis. You’ve often given me a new perspective on her struggles. Hang in, this too shall pass….sometimes it just takes a long time.
Hi Kathy, Thanks so much for letting me know that what I am doing is helping at least one person. I am amazed every day at the little threads that connect us all as human beings. We may not talk much, but we have many connecting threads. I hope your daughter is doing well and please tell her that I am happy to chat with her at any point if she needs support. And I am happy to chat with you too, whatever you need. 🙂
Robyn Kraus says
The question is, do you enjoy writing? Does it help you to sort through things that wouldn’t otherwise occur to you? I know writing does that for me. I’ve never had the courage to start a blog. But you have. So take a break if you need to, but if you truly love it, don’t give up. Don’t let other people decide for you. Someone, somewhere might stumble across it when they really need to hear what you have to say.
But if you don’t love it… If it’s become a burden and an obligation, then let it go. To everything there is a season. You get to decide how long that season will be.
Hi Robyn, such true words. Truth is, I think I still like the writing. It is all the other stuff that goes along with it that I think is wearing on my patience. I am hoping a little time away will allow me to remember I used to love those things too. Thanks for the comment. It is good to remember that I can make a choice that is true to me.
People get offended so easily no matter what it seems. I just found your blog and I like it! I wouldn’t quit if I were you 🖤
Hi Caitlin, Thanks so much for the kind words. I am hoping just a quick break will get me back into creative mode. I wouldn’t want to take away something that you like!
Hey Mel, I may not respond to many of the blogs but I read every one, save every one. I am not having to cope with some of the things you do but you often write about something close to my heart or in my head. Your words have made me think and I can’t ask for better.
I wasn’t planning to say anything about the “offended” ones but I changed my mind. People have suddenly become so damned puritanical, expecting everything to somehow align with their world view. I sincerely hope you keep writing, for yourself first and for the rest of us who listen and think.
Be well, my friend.
thanks so much for your kind words Cathy. I love that I am making people think. I think I miss the talking I did with so many different personalities when we worked together. I am so thankful to have had an influence like you in my life.
As you know, I am going to keep going, just after a break, so thanks for helping me make that decision. If I am ever up your way, we definitely need to get together. 🙂