Thanks to everyone who responded to the last blog and told me it was valuable.
I missed writing it.
I just needed a break. I was putting too much pressure on myself, and I needed a break.
I took a month off.
Here is what happened:
I started a new job a little over a month ago. A job with more responsibility and one where I am putting lots of pressure on myself to perform and do well.
The stress I was creating for myself was overwhelming. I was making myself sick figuratively, and this last week, literally.
I found myself in what I thought was the “perfect” job, at the “perfect” company, and I was trying to make myself “perfect”. And thanks to a good friend yesterday, I just now realized how much the word “perfect” was messing with me.
No one person is perfect. No one job is perfect. There is always a flaw in everything because we are human beings, and we are flawed in general. So, by describing this thing as “perfect”, I was putting too much pressure on myself. I was stressing over the tiniest little things, clenching my jaw and giving myself headaches, and in general, just not taking great care of myself. Which led to me getting sick. It always does.
My friend pointed out to me that a job is just a job. Work is not our whole life. Our health and well being are the most important things. Our happiness should be what drives us, not being “perfect” at work.
So, I am recommitting to being a better friend to myself. Taking time to take care of me and letting myself be the person I am, not some “perfect” version of me. I am going to move more because it makes me feel good, not because I “have to” to stay healthy. I am going to eat better because I enjoy good food. And I am not going to worry about what society thinks I “should” be doing. I am just going to do what I would tell my closest friends to do, be yourself and don’t worry about the rest. It will all work out in the end.
Not sure what is coming next week, I have so many thoughts in my head. Stay tuned to find out and be a better friend to yourself this week!