Being Uncomfortable

Today I am celebrating making it through another week, finishing a project, and learning to be uncomfortable.

There were a lot of ups and downs this week.

An up, I got my second vaccine shot and I am so excited to be on the road back to being out in the world. Many things in my life have been on pause for the last year to try to keep from getting sick.
The down to that was that I did have a decent reaction and had a fever for a day and a half. Having to walk the dog, in the snow, with a fever was not what I wanted to be doing that day but it had to be done. And I am extremely thankful that it was only that short period of time. I can’t imagine trying to do that with the actual illness.
So, I was very happy to get that done and I am looking forward to seeing friends again and eating a meal with them. I haven’t done that in so long…

My second up this week was finally finishing getting all my tax and medical records scanned. I have no more file boxes in my house! It is really kind of freeing to not have that stuff in my head anymore. It was a little weird to go through all of it too. Looking back through all that stuff really showed me how far I have come in my life.

Another good thing this week was I finally got back into reading non-fiction books. I haven’t really been able to focus on them during the pandemic but I think my brain is finally seeing that we are coming out of it (soon) and it is now ready to focus again. My work book club is reading “Designing Your Life: How to build a well-built, joyful life” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, so I decided to pick it up and try to catch up. Just after the intro, I knew that I needed to read this book. I am only a few chapters in but one of the things that struck me most was that they are framing the whole idea around designing your life around being curious and trying different things. Questioning and learning to help you figure out what makes you happy. I have always struggled with this.

It started me thinking about how uncomfortable the whole idea of questioning and not knowing makes me. I would like to say I am getting better at it, but it just makes my stomach queasy. I am a planner. We like to know what is coming. Exploring is not really in my DNA. Don’t get me wrong, I like learning new things, so I am not completely opposed to the idea, but not knowing really makes me uncomfortable.

And when examining what is in my life right now, a lot of it makes me uncomfortable. I am forging new paths in my job that I have never done before and certainly no one in my company has done before. The pandemic has just made life weird, and that makes me uncomfortable. I think that one way I am combating the whole thing is to do these projects around the house that I have control over.

I am hoping as I continue the book, I will get less uncomfortable and will learn to be more questioning. I am actually really excited to discuss with my co-workers. I will keep you guys updated too. I am really hoping it makes a difference because I have been feeling stuck these days.

I think I will stop now for this week. I will leave you with an article that I read in the NY Times. Really resonated with me during this time. Hoping you have a good week!