Rest

I am back after a week off. It was really nice to have a week where I wasn’t working. I got to see family and friends. Spent some time working on hobbies (there will be a blog about that soon). Even enjoyed some downtime watching TV.

Going back to work this week was really a shock and it brought home to me that I have got to learn how to handle stress better. My first day back had a big meeting with upper management and as I was preparing, I noticed I was getting a headache from clenching my jaw. I do that when I am stressed out. And for the rest of the week, it seemed that everyone just saved all of their questions and work requests while I was gone and then hit me with them all at once. By Friday, I felt more stressed than I had before I took my break. (I don’t want you to think I am complaining. I love my job and I don’t want to leave it. It was just one of those weeks.)

I also have been dealing with some health issues this week. A few weeks ago, I did my annual checkup and my primary care doc found some results that she wanted more tests done. This week was when I finally got all of those tests done. There were two separate issues that needed to be researched. For one, I had a diagnosis from the primary care but when I saw the specialist, she told me the primary care was wrong and that prompted more tests. I ended up taking almost an entire day off work to get all this testing done and that made me even more stressed. The second issue is that my primary care thinks I have sleep apnea because of some of my blood work, so I had to do a sleep test. I had done one before in an office where they hook you up to a whole bunch of wires and watch you sleep for a night. You don’t sleep well but you are done in one night. And you know when you walk out if you have issues. But now, they do at home sleep tests. You get to hook yourself up to a bunch of sensors and then record those readings for at least 3 nights. So, not sleeping well for three nights. My little wrist tracker said I got about 4 hours of sleep each night. The worst part of the whole thing is now I have to send the test back and wait for the results. I hate waiting.

By yesterday, I was stressed, had little sleep and was living with uncertainty and I decided that everything needed to go this weekend. I cancelled all my plans and just stayed home. Best decision I have made all week. I was able to nap and do small chores.

I also used the time to do part of my self-review for work. It is one of the hardest things I do all year because I tend to be much harder on myself that others are and I usually rate myself lower than I should. But, I am trying to turn over a new leaf and be a little kinder to myself. So I spent yesterday listing out all of my accomplishments for the year. It was two pages long and I was very excited by that. It is always nice to really see the impact you are making. And to remind myself that I am doing good work, even when it is really stressful.

With all that done, I go into this week feeling pretty accomplished and I am really happy with where I am in life.

But, I am working to prioritize rest a little more. I notice that when I don’t sleep, I fall into bad habits like eating more and doing less. My Fibro flares more when I don’t rest enough. These are signals that my body is sending for me to stress less and rest more. This is going to be my focus for the next few months even. Resting more and doing things to help reduce the stress.

I hope you all are getting good rest in your lives. Sending you wishes for a good week.

(next week, I hope I am talking about hobbies 😉 )