I am hiding in my room.
Let me explain.
Recently, I decided to better my financial situation by getting a roommate. I thought I could make a new friend and get some extra cash in the meantime. It would be the perfect situation.
Reality is not ever as good as my expectations.
There is another person in my house, and now I have anxiety in my own home. I am avoiding the common spaces because of my anxiety. My house is no longer my sanctuary. And I hide in my room, the only sanctuary I have left.
I am a little scared.
I am also a little annoyed. At myself. Because I want to be a minimalist, and I realize that much of the anxiety is coming from someone else using “my” space, “my” stuff.
And I realize that I still have a lot invested in my “stuff” giving me comfort.
I only want to keep the stuff that brings me joy, but it seems like I am stuck with too much stuff that is “comfortable”. And I have such a great attachment to said “stuff”, that it gives me anxiety to even have someone else around it, let alone using it.
My head says that I am attaching too much value to the stuff. My head says that the stuff doesn’t mean anything. My head says that I can get rid of this stuff and it will be fine. My head says that it is ok for someone else to use my stuff.
My body, on the other hand, is screaming that this stuff is “my” stuff and that no one else should use my stuff. My body pulls me down and says that my stuff is going to get messed up. My body is reacting entirely irrationally, but I can’t stop it from reacting.
That is all I have for this week. Because my head is working overtime to try to help my body, it cannot form more words. I hope you all have a good week.