I am adopted.
In more ways than one.
First though, November is National Adoption month in the US. And I want to talk about all the ways that adoption affects me throughout the month. Both the positive and the negative.
Starting with family that isn’t family.
In college, I met a girl who was born on the same date as me, just three years apart. We had similar interests, and she is way smarter than me. But we clicked.
Fast forward 20 some years, she is one of my dearest friends, and she has a family of her own. I have made them my family too. I love them all, and they fill my world with so much life and happiness.
But here’s the thing, I always feel like I am pushing into a place where I am overreaching, and I should back off. And it is my hangup. It is all about how I grew up and how I am feeling. I am pretty sure that they would tell me just go away if they didn’t want me there. My friends are honest like that.
Growing up, my parents had close friends, but we only ever saw them once or twice a year. And we only ever saw my extended family at holidays. No other times of the year, not even birthdays. So, I didn’t grow up with a lot of extended people in my life. It was really just my parents, my bro and me in our house most of the time.
As I got older, I craved more of those gatherings of friends or family. I wanted to surround myself with people who loved me and could show me the love I was missing. I built groups of friends and spent tons of time with them.
Now, I just know that I want to have that in my life. That sense of community that I wrote about. So, I spend a lot of time with my friend and her family. And I know my friend loves me. And I know her kids love me. And deep down, I know that I am not entirely intruding in their lives. I just feel like I am sometimes. Like birthdays or holidays. It feels weird to me that a family would just invite someone who is not related to that kind of celebration. My family would never do anything like that. Although, to be honest, I don’t have any issue with it. I think I would love to have people who are not my family over for the holidays.
Maybe I am being stupid about this whole thing, and they love having me around. I guess I need to get over my impostor syndrome and just enjoy what is happening at this moment. I know that each time I spend a day with them, I am getting stronger physically and mentally because those kids really push me out of my comfort zone. They remind me to laugh and play and be young again.
And that my friends, is what I have always wanted in my life. Positive people who lift you up and make you better.
Thank goodness this family and I adopted one another.
**I have been on a journey the last couple years to find my birth parents, and I am going to be writing about here soon. It is still pretty raw for me, but it is national adoption month, so it seems appropriate to get it started now. Hope it helps someone else down their path. Stay tuned.**