I have had a roommate for the last 6 and a half months.
She moved out this week.
It might have been one of the happiest days of my life.
Turns out, I really like living alone. I like not having to worry about how I am affecting another person in my space.
I like being able to leave dirty dishes out on my counter if I want to and I like being able to lay on my couch when I am sick.
I have two problems that I need to work on when living with another person.
- Setting boundaries with the other person. I am currently a giant pushover, and my default is to just go to my room (safe space) when something I don’t like is happening. I really hate confrontation, and so I have a huge amount of trouble speaking up when I am unhappy or when I want to change things. I am a doer. I just like to be able to do things and not have to get permission or clearance from anyone
- Trust. I have huge trust issues in my life. Turns out that when you live with a spouse who lied to you for years when someone else moves into your house, you automatically don’t trust them. And I turn into a horrible person when I don’t trust someone. I look for things to confirm my non-trust. And you know what, that just isn’t who I want to be.
Thus, I like living alone. I trust myself. I am sometimes bad about setting boundaries even with myself, but I am getting better.
There just seems to be a freedom in living on your own. It is a freedom that I want right now.
I do have to say though, that I did develop some good habits while I had a roommate. She was the catalyst behind me really getting serious about this blog and doing it every week. I needed an outlet, and this gave me one. I am so glad it started.
She also drove me to have a much cleaner house. It is amazing how much I cleaned because she didn’t clean up after herself. I got into the habit of wiping down the microwave (she wouldn’t use the plastic cover), really deep cleaning the kitchen at least once a week because she had a habit of not wiping up spills and vacuuming much more often because she wanted to wear shoes in the house. But once I really got into doing that work every week, I found that it didn’t take too long and I really enjoyed having a much cleaner house than I was used to. Even now that she is gone, the habit still remains, and I am super appreciative and hopeful that it stays a habit for the rest of my life.
Every experience in our lives helps us grow. The good ones are enjoyable, but I think the bad ones bring the most growth. They help us realize the hard lessons that we are resistant to learn. Just like being sick reminds us to slow down and rest.
I am really thankful I had the experience of having a roommate. It helped me out financially. It helped me learn new habits. And it identified areas that I still need to work on before I embark on the roommate journey again.
But for now, I am going to enjoy being alone!