I feel like I have been sleepwalking through life this week.
No matter how hard I try, I just feel disconnected from myself.
Been struggling physically too. My chest has been tight and muscles achy. Feeling like I was moving through some barrier all week. Like walking through water or jello.
All of it has left me in a state of not sure of myself, unable to make decisions, and more than just a little down.
I have been doing everything that I possibly can to stay out of a depression-state because I feel myself sliding into one.
I have been trying to do things I love. Reading books, walking, watching favorite TV shows.
I am doing all the meditations and yoga to try to align my body.
After a day by myself yesterday, doing as little as possible, I am feeling somewhat better.
But I didn’t want to write this blog. It felt very raw and open to share this with you.
And because I can’t truly pin down what is causing all of this, I wasn’t sure I should even write about it.
Usually, I can pretty much tell what is up with my body. I know when I get stressed out and over-worked, I will get sick so my body is forced to slow down. I know when I don’t get enough sleep, that I am likely to have a fibro flare.
But this is different. I was going along pretty happy. I like my job, I like my house. Things are on the good side right now. So I am left wondering, what is my body trying to tell me and is there a why to feeling like this.
I don’t have the answers right now. I am going to try to explore them today and maybe next week there will be an answer filled blog.
But today, there are just questions to explore.