I just drank two big cups of black tea, and I still want to go back to sleep. (I don’t do coffee, so this is my caffeine.)
This week, I have struggled to get good sleep, and I am feeling it today.
I have also been struggling with impostor syndrome this week. That feeling that I am not where I am supposed to be, and someone is going to take it all from me when they find out.
Do you ever feel like that?
I think I feel like that more often than I don’t, especially these days. Even though, in my heart, I believe that I am always right where I am supposed to be.
Over the last week, I realized that for many years, I have been telling myself that I am not good enough. That I don’t have the right experience. That I can’t handle responsibility. I am not entirely sure where this story comes from, but I am sure that it lives in my head and has probably been holding me back for many years. I wrote a whole blog earlier in the week that I intended to publish today. It was about how I was a complete impostor, and I was sure that people were going to find out.
And then I let it simmer all week.
I thought about all the counseling and coaching I have had over the years. And I wrote some more stuff down each day. This time, focusing on a different story. The story that I am good enough, and I am right where I am supposed to be.
So, today, I am writing a different blog. One that focuses a little more on the good and not the bad.
I am telling myself a new story. One that says I can do the things I am being asked to do. I do have all the right experience, the right degree, the right background to be right where I am.
I have to acknowledge that the people who hired me are smart, and when they give me compliments and tell me they are thankful that I am in the job, I should believe them.
I have to believe that who I am is really enough. I don’t have to act any differently or put on a show or be someone I am not. I need to be more in touch with my heart and feel at a cellular level that I am right where I am supposed to be, and I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.
I know that it won’t be easy to change my beliefs. It has taken years to build up this line of thinking, and it won’t change overnight. So, I am practicing every day to believe in myself. It might take years to really know that at that cellular level, but I am willing to try to get there. I have a lot of years still to go, and wouldn’t it be great to be my whole confident and crazy self for all those years!
This week, I am challenging you to look at one story you tell yourself that isn’t very nice and change the story-line. Turn that story around and be the hero. I would love to know how it goes, so post in the comments if you want to share.
I hope you all have a good week. 🙂