I just finished week number 4 of staying home.
It was a week that saw some lows and some highs. But on the whole, I am coming out of this week with hope and a good attitude.
I started off this week trying to sew in the evening. By the end of the week, I had determined that this was a terrible idea. I think that trying to do too much is what set off a big Fibro flare later in the week. But, that evening sewing did produce one mask that I could wear outside, and I wore it while walking to the mailbox. Turns out, these fabric masks make me feel like I can’t breathe, so my little walk set off a small panic attack. I have started putting them on around the house to try to get used to them because I need to leave the house, and I need to keep others safe, so I need to get used to them.
Those were the lows. The Fibro flare sent me to bed, and I slept for 13 hours. I was clearly tired and over-worked, so I have decided that I need a little more downtime in my day.
The highs were really great. My crafting group did a zoom call, and it was so good to see those ladies and to chat. We are doing it again this week, and I can’t wait. They also convinced me that I should come to an online ballet class on Friday, and I did. Let me tell you, I haven’t danced in over a year, and it was hard for my body to jump back in, but man, it felt good to do something that I like for movement and exercise. I was a sweaty mess when it was over, but it felt satisfying. (and I am still sore but in a good way)
So, I am working on changing things up a little for these next weeks of stay at home.
Because there are lots of new and scary things in the world, I have been retreating back into myself, and I know that tends to make me overly anxious. So, I am going to do a thing a week that might make me a little uncomfortable. Like taking a ballet class, or going outside with a mask. Or getting gas in my car (I am dreading this, but it has to happen this week).
I am also going to fiddle with changing my routines a little. Every expert has said that you need to keep a routine during this crazy time, but that doesn’t mean that it needs to be the exact same routine as before. I need to do things that get me out of my head, and so I am going to make slight changes to see what might stick. If I can learn to be a little more flexible during this time, then perhaps I can carry that into what comes after this time.
This week, I learned what not to do. Now, I am going to focus on what is best for me. Stretch a little. See how I can remain positive and safe all at the same time. And who knows, I might come out of this with a new skill. Or I might just find out how to cope a little better. Or I might just survive and be happy to go into a grocery store again. (I am actually missing going into a grocery at this point). I don’t know.
What I do know, is that my life is filled with blessings. I have great friends. Good co-workers and a good job. I can order my food and pick it up or have it delivered. I love my house, and I really enjoy spending time there. I have access to good internet, and so I can keep in touch with people online. I have the skills and fabric stash to make masks and help others out. I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy in my downtime. I could go on and on.
I hope your life is also filled with blessings, and if it isn’t, I am sending you big hugs right now.
And to all of us stuck at home, I hope that you can go outside every once in a while. I hope you like where you live, and I hope that you are cutting yourself some slack during this rough time. Do what you can, but remember, this isn’t normal life, and these stresses may make life more difficult. Take care of yourself and your loved ones, and don’t worry about the rest.