It has been an interesting week for me. I spent a lot of time in reflection about things that were irritating me. It turns out, when I am comfortable in my own skin, I am a better person in the world and little things don’t get to me as much.
I started the week on a pretty high note. Monday, I bought veggie plants and got them planted right before the rain started. I felt pretty good about that.
Back to work on Tuesday and already felt behind. Didn’t sleep well that night and Wednesday, I spent the day putting out fires at work. It was a very rough couple of days. Thursday had a disappointment at work and then proceeded to burn my fingers taking something out of my air fryer. That forced me to pause in a very literal sense, lots of time spent running my fingers under cold water. (I am fine now. A little blister but no more pain!)
I do not do smart things when I am tired and angry and not paying attention. I needed to reflect on what was really going on with me. Why had I let myself get to this point?
Truth is, I had gone into this week tired, and all week, I had been blaming my inability to get things done at work on that. I realized that night while I ran my fingers under that cold water, that I had really just not been doing what I should have been doing. I had gotten sidetracked on what I wanted to future to be and I was not working on the now that needed to be. Friday, I focused on the two major things that had to be done and got them done. I still had things that distracted me, but I kept bringing myself back into that focus of get this done now. It was a big reminder that when I do focus, I can get the things done.
I applied that to my Saturday as well, and I finished what needed to be done. Which allowed me to go see people that I have not seen in a very long time and enjoy a happy occasion. And I finally realized something else that I have been trying to figure out forever. I fit in where I belong and I don’t fit in where I don’t belong. It is as simple as that. I need to stop wasting my energy trying to change the person I am now, to feel like I fit in where I don’t belong. I have been chasing something that I should have never been chasing and would never be mine. And with that, I was finally able to enjoy people’s company, hear great stories, and leave when it was time to go. I realized that I have been trying to be someone I am not for a very long time. I am happy to be me now.
With that, this week I am grateful that I burned my fingers and had to slow down. I never would have finished my work or gotten out to see people if that hadn’t happened. i am sure of it. I am also grateful for the long walks that Flirt has taken me on this week. I have hit my step goal each day but also, she is wanting to explore more of the neighborhood and I am hoping each little exploring trip makes her a little more confident. The activity is good for her and for me.
I don’t have much else to say this week. I wish you all a healthy week (no burns for you!) and I will be back here next week.