My week was not too bad but the struggle with the burnout continues.
I am lucky to have a three-day weekend, and that is helping. I plan to spend my Sunday just relaxing and not doing anything. (Spoiler alert, I am writing this on Saturday!)
Today, I want to focus on something that has been bothering me for a while. It is my dream of owning my own home (again).
It is a dream that often brings me down because of the reality of my situation currently and the reality of the world around me.
When I left Colorado for Florida in 2014, housing costs in Colorado were still relatively reasonable and had I not moved out of state, I probably would own a home right now. But, I chased a dream across the country and while the time there was good and taught me many good things, I had to come back home.
By the time I came back to Colorado, housing costs had jumped and I have found myself back to renting. At the time, it didn’t bother me because I didn’t know my job situation and for that matter, what area of the city I wanted to be in. Now, my job situation seems somewhat stable and so I keep going back to wanting to buy a place. But now, housing costs are sky-high and I can’t even dream of owning something. There is nothing within my price range.
This week in therapy, I realized that I have been telling myself the wrong story about the house. Thinking that I will never be able to buy a house really puts that idea in my head and it isn’t the idea I really want to take root.
The things is, I actually like the place I live right now. It has the perfect amount of space, a yard for the dog and gardening, great parks nearby and I have fantastic neighbors. The rent is reasonable and I have a great landlord, so I really am blessed to have what I need. And, with all the feelings of burnout and the health issues, it is great that I can call someone to take care of the house when something breaks and it isn’t all on me.
So, I am working on re-framing my thoughts. I am going to remember that I like my place now and that is all I need right now. A home that I own will come in the future, but it shouldn’t happen now. I am not ready for it. The universe knows that and so, it will come when I am ready. Right now, this allows me to focus on getting my health better and I don’t have to stress about also taking on the responsibility of owning a home. Someone else will come change the air filters in the heating/cooling system (my landlord provides this), and I don’t have to crawl in the crawl-space to do it while my knees are hurting. These are the little things that I am grateful for and I don’t have to worry about them.
And I truly have fantastic neighbors. People who will water my garden when I am out of town and who offer to take the dog out when I am sick. We watch over each others houses and are respectful about noise. I even have neighbors that bring over random gifts when they know I am feeling down. It really is a great situation to be in.
So, I am postponing the dream to own a house and focusing on the wonderful things I currently have. I know this will help me feel a little better.
With that, I will let you all know that there will not be a blog next week. I am taking a much needed break from work and from the computer in an effort to really work on my burnout. So, no digital work for an entire week. I will let you know how it goes the following week. I hope you all have a happy next two weeks and I will see then!